Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning

Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning is a 2005 parody film produced by five friends in a two-room flat with a small budget and the support of a few hundred fans and several dozen acquaintances. It is the seventh production in the Star Wreck movie series, and the first of professional quality and feature length. It is a dark science fiction comedy about domination of the world and the universe, and a parody of the Star Trek and Babylon 5 franchises.

The original version ("net version") of the film is available as an authorized and legal download on the Internet under the Creative Commons CC BY-NC-ND license.

Plot
The newly established P-Fleet travels to a remote region of space. They approach an anomaly, identified as a "maggot hole". On the bridge of the C.P.P. Potkustartti, Captain James B. Pirk (Samuli Torssonen) reminisces about his experiences since the end of the previous film, Star Wreck V: Lost Contact. Pirk was stranded on Earth at the end of the 20th century, his spaceship destroyed, his crew dispersed to avoid changing Earth's history.

Years later, Pirk realized that Earth's history had not developed as expected since first contact with the Vulgars. Instead of helping Mankind to conquer space, the Vulgars were corrupted by rock star Jeffrey Cochbrane, who sold their spaceship to the Russians. Pirk takes matters into his own hands, and with his old crew members Commander Dwarf (Timo Vuorensola) and Commander Info (Antti Satama), he locates the spaceship of the Vulgars. Gaining the trust of the Russian President, he builds the spaceship C.P.P. Potkustartti and subsequently the "P-Fleet". Due to his monopoly on superior technology, Pirk takes control of the Earth and becomes its emperor.

Pirk desires further conquest. He takes the fleet through the maggot hole to a parallel universe, in which history has taken a different path. Pirk announces his intent to conquer the parallel universe to Captain Johnny K. Sherrypie, the commander of the Babel 13 space station. Sherrypie resists and sends his fleet to counter Pirk's. Babel 13's fleet is devastated. Sherrypie surrenders to the P-Fleet's forces and lures Pirk and his security detail with promises of shore leave and sexual encounters with the Babel 13's female personnel.

Sherrypie and his crew later try to assassinate Pirk, but he and his men escape. Battle resumes with the arrival of the Excavator, commanded by Festerbester. In a bitter fight, the P-Fleet suffers considerable losses, and the Excavator inflicts heavy damage on the Potkustartti. Crippled, the Potkustartti is set on a collision course, and the bridge personnel evacuate to Fukov's ship, the C.P.P. Kalinka. The destructive force of the Potkustartti ramming the Excavator during a "twist core split" (a parody of Star Trek's "warp core breach") destroys both ships. The remaining five P-Fleet ships approach Babel 13, preparing to destroy it, but Sherrypie's security officer Mikhail Garybrandy (Jari Ahola) has primed the station's reactor to blow up. The blast destroys the other ships, but the Kalinka escapes through the maggot hole, spiraling out of control and crashing into what appears to be ice age Earth. Pirk, Info and Dwarf beam down to safety as the ship crashes. The ending mirrors Pirk's initial predicament: he is stranded without a ship during an uneventful time in history. Info suggests he go into power save mode and revive himself in the distant future to stop the fleet from entering the maggot hole. The scene shifts to Earth's orbit where a cloud of high tech debris exists, suggesting that they are trapped in a post-apocalyptic future, not the prehistoric past.

Cast

 * Captain/Emperor James B. Pirk, played by Samuli Torssonen. A character based on James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard, his surname an amalgamation of the two, who amounts to a megalomaniac, egotistic and incompetent fool with incredible luck. He has an eye for tactics in ship-to-ship combat, but lacks any social abilities. The only reason he has ever advanced beyond Sub-Lieutenant are his tactical skills and his ability to keep discipline by bullying.
 * Commander Info, played by Antti Satama. A parody of Data. He is an android and has a tendency to speak in overly long sentences full of technobabble, which others like Pirk don't really seem to understand. On 21st-century Earth, when he runs out of flesh-colored paint, he stops trying to disguise himself.
 * Commander Dwarf, played by Timo Vuorensola. A parody of Worf. He is a psychotic Plingon alien who betrayed his people to join Pirk's crew. True to his Plingon warrior background, he never showers or bathes. Famous for saying "Plingon warriors do not take showers!", he is trigger-happy and eager for action even when it puts the objective at risk.
 * Sergey Fukov, played by Janos Honkonen. A semi-independent character based on Pavel Chekov. He is the great-great-great-great-grandfather of the original Fukov in Star Wreck 1, 2, and 3. Before joining up with Pirk, he was a highly incompetent nuclear engineer at the Chernobyl nuclear plant. He is the only captain of the P-fleet to inflict more destruction on his own ship than on the enemy. As Emperor Pirk says, he is "a brain-dead piss-for-brains Soviet mutant".
 * Captain Johnny K. Sherrypie, played by Atte Joutsen. A parody of John Sheridan. He is the commanding officer of space station Babel 13 and likes making long-winded speeches and delaying decisions. Unlike Pirk, he acts very professionally.
 * Commander Susannah Ivanovitsa, played by Satu Heliö. A parody of Susan Ivanova. She is the sarcastic Executive Officer of the Babel 13. Her daily duties consist of reporting parking violations and enduring Sherrypie's speeches. She bemoans the fact that her career seems to have stalled.
 * Festerbester, played by Janos Honkonen. A parody of Alfred Bester. He is a Psy-Co officer with a habit of commandeering ships, and he is a good tactician, about as competent as Fukov is incompetent. He is played by the same actor who plays Fukov (just as Walter Koenig plays both Chekov and Bester).
 * Security Chief Mikhail Garybrandy (Karigrandi), played by Jari Ahola. A parody of Michael Garibaldi, who also parodies Kari Grandi with some of his jokes and with the name. He is Babel 13's head of security, and tends to drink at the most inappropriate moments.
 * President Ulyanov, played by Kari Väänänen. His name is a reference to Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Lenin). He is the president of Russia—an honest, well-mannered politician with the best of intentions. Unlike most of the cast, he is played by a professional actor who resorts to overacting to not stand out too much.
 * Lieutenant Swagger, played by Tiina Routamaa. She is a parody of every exploited female officer in the history of science fiction. Lieutenant Swagger is the beautiful but ice-cold helm officer aboard the Potkustartti. Her tough composure only lifts on seeing Pirk in peril. She hates her uniform.
 * Ambassador Flush. A parody of Kosh, he utters idle comments in cryptic ways and picks his nose when no one is looking.